Day 45

E:
Inside Outside

Stayin’ inside
more than we’ve ever been,
and I mean in ways more than these halls,
let’s get outside,
please can you tell me when
we’ll start making more windows than walls…

We are all in proximity,
in the vicinity,
inside these four walls that need painting.
Feels like infinity,
sometimes like divinity,
and all different kinds of relatin’.

We’re opened up in new ways,
we sit here inside our days,
reading and watching and waiting,
despair, death and data weigh,
the government makes delay,
while the president works for his ratings.

Despite everything we know,
we’re not sure where this will go,
our theories are all rearranging.
We’re up high and then we’re low,
the news is a gigolo,
sensation, seduction and baitin’.

I’ve shown you all my cards,
played endlessly in the yard,
we’re finding new ways of acquainting.
It’s lovely and then it’s hard,
I hope we won’t disregard
the new kinds of ways that we’re changing.

M:
We’ve made it over a month! I haven’t written every day, but that’s okay. I think about what it would be like to go back to school right now, and I don’t think I would like it. I’m perfectly content doing art projects all day and not being away from home for at least eight hours. In the beginning I wanted nothing more than to be back in school and to see everyone. Now I’m enjoying my peace and my alone time. I’ve become a more creative person and I’ve thought a lot about who I am and what I want to do with my future. During school I never had any time to think about anything other than school and soccer. I got up and left before the sun rose, and I came home after it had set. My life was a constant schedule and I felt like I zoned out for a couple months. Everyday felt like a dream that kept repeating over and over and over. During quarantine, even though the days are similar, I still use my free time to do different activities all day. I think throughout the day and I’ve opened up parts of my brain that I had no idea existed. I would never choose for this to go on forever, but for the time being I’m good. 

M:
My favorite team didn’t pick the player I wanted but they ended up getting someone much better so I was happy with the turnout. We went on another desert hike with my dad this time the hike was next to the river. We climbed on boulders and had a rock throwing contest. We ate really good food and I won the that game me and my mom play so she had to bake me a cake. My dog got dropped off at my moms house and I am spending time with her. She had been with my dad for so long that she took off after his car. I also went into town with my friend and we got free tacos and cokes. we ate them six feet apart then I went home. I have also still been playing online games with my friends.

Days 15-20

E…Snippets, Haikus:

Quarantined lovers
stand six feet apart, windy
Delta parking lot.

Between us, the two
clipped daffodils you brought, one
is me, one is you.

Two hours to the red
rocks, desert flowers bloom white,
plum, yellow, crimson.

A Mars planet, no
one on the roads, our spirits
lift by the river.

Support comes from the
most unexpected places,
these little graces.

A couple degrees
of separation – in all
directions, closer.

How vulnerable
we all are now, and not just
in our bodies.

Sunday morning, the
first day I practiced yoga
with a woodpecker.

Healing comes in the
form of two dimensional
faces on a screen.

Armageddon.  What
is that, music? An ice cream
truck, an empty street.

M:

Spring break – Six days 

Spring break was perfect timing for a relaxing break away from online school. I partly wish that they skipped spring break and just ended school early because that’s what Telluride did, but I know that this break was good for me. I don’t know if I’m ready to start school again but I feel like during this break I’ve gotten very organized. I now make my bed every day and I keep my room super clean. I think that I can dive back into school and really stay on top of it. I still really miss my friends. Like more than I ever thought I could. I really need that connection, but in some way I think we’ve made an even greater connection. We talk all the time and we have personal conversations that we don’t normally have. Anna was allowed to spend a couple nights at my house because she’s been in complete quarantine. That was really good for her and I know she needed it a lot and it felt good to be there for her and be able to physically hug her. My friends and I watch movies together and we facetime so I feel like our connection has gotten so strong. School has been easier and harder than I thought at the same time. Our assignments are easy, but it’s really hard to find the motivation to do them. I now realize that when my room is clean and my life is in order, I focus much better and my schoolwork becomes easier. We are going to start writing again every day and get back on our regular schedule. I’m very excited for school to end, but I know i’ll make it through happily and I’ll work very hard to keep my life in order. 

M:
The weekend review-
Over the weekend we did many things like going on a hike in the desert. We also got to see my dad on Sunday.  He came down to Ridgway and we played football. We also got groceries from the market. This time we got most of the stuff that we ordered. Rob was going to come but he couldn’t and we were sad that he wasn’t able to make it. We start doing school from home again on Tuesday and I really don’t want to. It is interesting how doing everything from home kinda feels normal now.

The Weekend (Days 11 & 12)

E:
Old Things Healed, New Things Tried

On the hike, there is no hashing out
of how it used to be, there is just the river,
and the broken bridge rebuilt

downstream, only birds and the songs they make,
and the new green blades that push through
the detritus. Attention is the new ground

from which we will grow.  At home,
anything goes, the kids take risks
on blue cheese, banana pancakes, a new trick

on the trampoline.  We meet for virtual music
and linger, soft silences melodic, traded thoughts.
No point in filling the spaces with old stories,

time now to believe the black-capped
chickadee, the belt of Orion, to be a part
in a new kind of together.

M:
This weekend was the beginning day of spring break. I went on a lot of walks with my friends and my family. Before this virus, I didn’t walk this much, I mean I had my sports, but I didn’t take the time to be outside in the fresh air on my own. I didn’t know how much I liked walking. Usually when I hang out with people we go sit inside. I’ve gotten to walk all over town which feels so weird because there is no one in town. It feels like a ghost town. We drove by the school and usually when I take that drive I have this feeling of really not wanting to go, but now when I drive by all I want to do is go back. This is probably good because now I will really appreciate going to school. I want to be back in class talking to people and I want to be sitting at the lunch table with my friends. I heard about how the coronavirus numbers are going down in China and I know we can’t legally make everyone stay inside, but I wish we could follow their path a little and get rid of this virus. Our numbers are going up so much and I don’t understand why people aren’t staying inside because they feel like they don’t have to worry. People need to realize that just because they can’t get sick, their loved ones can. They need to be careful. It’s so hard to stay inside but we will have to much longer if people don’t start being aware. I want to enjoy my spring break and I am supposed to be with my friends but now I can’t. But, I have to remember to be grateful that I can still walk around with my friends because some people can’t even leave their houses. I am so lucky but I really miss my people. I know that this will end, but it’s hard for me to not know how long it will go. 

M:
THE WEEKEND
On Saturday we woke up and my mom taught a class. We had a skillet for breakfast and I played games with my friends. After that we went on a hike with my dad and  it was fun to see him. On the hike we played football. I also threw the ball for my dog and found a stick to throw for her in the river. After that I did some tricks on the trampoline and we watched a movie called 1917. We then went to bed because we were tired.
SUNDAY
Today we woke up and laid around the house in the morning. We didn’t do much today. after lunch we went on our daily hike and then came back. I played video games with my friends and went back out on the trampoline. I was sad because it was Sunday and on Monday we had to start doing our work from home again. Then I remembered it was spring break. My mom and I then watched a show and went to bed.

Drop Off

Two boys
lean against

the brick wall
by the entrance

to the school.
He says,

Goodbye for now!

and runs to join them,
leans just like

they do,
boys,

observing
the opening

world. The yellow sun
flashes round

his ruffled
silhouette,

still flavored with
the sleep of morning –

and my eyes,
they cannot see

if he looks
little still,

or almost
grown.