Day 6, Monday Home Journal

E:
Strangely, it really did feel like a Monday.  We are into our routine.  It is a workday.  I am so grateful for a rhythm that does not allow us to lose track of these days.

I took a break from the news over the weekend.  And I have to admit that allowing it all back in today gave me a surge of worry.  The reality is grim.  There are so many people facing loss and who are suffering  or in fear right now.  The numbers are growing.  And the politics at the top are despicable…we will leave it at that.

Also, and in equal parts, I know that the earth is breathing.  Domestic flights may be grounded.  New York is considering blocking streets to vehicular traffic and opening to pedestrians.  Makes me think of this….Talking Heads ”Nothing but Flowers.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2twY8YQYDBE.  I heart David Byrne.  I used to think this song was about the future…

I’ve been FaceTiming with people.  My lover. My family.  My friends.  It’s so sweet to see them.  And they made it into my dreams last night.

Our hike yesterday felt like an effort.  No one was much up for it.  It was cold and grey.  The moods to match.  We did it anyway, and of course it’s always a good idea.

Last night we played “Oh Hell,” an old family card game that makes me think of my people.  Noted: it takes an effort to stop all of our individual activities to do something together.  And it is really important.  Even though there is resistance at first, it animates and balances everyone.

M:
Today felt more emotional than some of the other days. I really felt like I needed my space which I’m sure so many people feel. I wanted to be alone, but I didn’t know how to get there. We went on a hike around 3:30, and I really wasn’t feeling it. I wanted to be back in my room by myself. There are always days where every little thing annoys you, I was definitely having one of those days. On the way back to the car, I decided to run by myself. I ran the whole way back and sat in the car by myself for a while. This helped so much. I think there are two very important parts of quarantine. One of them is to be outside and to be social while keeping distance, but the other one is to have some time to yourself. Facetiming your friends is important, but also make sure you are putting time aside to be with yourself. Let your thoughts wander and think about whatever you want to because this is your time. Before today, I hadn’t experienced the joy of being by myself. I had sat in my room and watched netflix and facetimed people, But I hadn’t really been alone with my thoughts for a long period of time. After my run and alone time, I was in a much better mood. I never realize how much running positively affects my mental health until I do it. Even a 10 minute run helps me so much. It wakes me up and puts me in a better mood. The rest of the day was relaxing. I got to finish a season of American Horror Story, then we played a card game. The rest of the day was much better because I gave myself what I wanted and let go of the stress and pressure of school work and not seeing my friends. 

M:
Today we woke up and felt pretty lazy. I did my school work from 9-12. I will admit I didn’t get much done. I am still playing online games with my friends. We went on our daily hike but we weren’t very motivated. we then got back home and played family games. after that I watched a show and went to bed.