Various shades of light and dark,
greyscale and sometimes a rainbow,
the colors come so close together,
then move apart, one moment
a shadow, the next, a spark. All
the sailors navigate alone on
the same sea, even the ones who
ride in the same boat. We wave
to one another, then put our heads
down to prepare for the next swell,
our shoulders lean into the squall.
Rise and fall, peak and trough, we
are all in varying stages of the surge
at any given moment, sometimes in sync,
sometimes discordant, we all hold on.
And hold on we do, and bow deep to
the ones who have not, as this journey
is also for them, and in this sharing,
a softness, a different kind of sea.
Today was the same as most other days. I saw my friends then I watched American Horror Story. Even though these days all seem the same in terms of events, every day is different and special. I learn something new about who I am all the time and I unknowingly teach myself new ways to cope with this situation by the hour. I miss being with everyone and I know I say that a lot but I’ve never missed my people more. I miss all of it. I miss passing by them in the hallway briefly making eye contact. I miss all of the things that I used to take advantage of. If I was given one wish I wouldn’t ask for unlimited money or superpowers, I would simply wish for the chance to hug someone. All I want is the support and comfort of a hug. My favorite thing in life has always been social interaction and now that’s the one thing that’s been taken away from me. I know everyone is in this situation which actually helps in some way because all of their wishes would be to hug and to laugh within six feet of each other. Knowing that we all have that common longing makes me excited for when we are done with this because they will be showing as much love to me as I would be showing to them. We will all be 100% more grateful for the things we have. Everyday I ask myself why this had to happen. Why did this have to happen during the year that’s supposed to be one of the most social and exciting years of my life? Why couldn’t this have happened when I was in elementary school and I loved staying home and playing with my dinosaur toys? I’ve heard many people say that this is the most difficult thing they’ve ever lived through. That sentence is both sprising and not surprising at the same time. How could this possibly be so difficult if all we have to do is stay inside? That’s what I would have thought before all of this, but now that I’m in it I can see how this will probably be the most difficult and darkest part of my life. The time of quarantine will be really hard, but after we might be the happiest we’ve ever been and all of that darkness will hopefully fade away.
Today we woke up and had no school so I played games with my friends. We went on a short hike and had sushi for lunch. After that I jumped on the trampoline and then, we stayed up late talking to our friends and had roast beef and potatoes.